what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
