How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize