I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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