True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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