we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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