So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
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Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
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I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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