i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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