Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize