Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
