She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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