It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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