im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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