What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize