feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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