Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
