I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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