There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
