remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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