woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
