Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
