Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
