Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
one might say we're banned from that church
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
