Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize