Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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