everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
