it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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