dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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