would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
