I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
