The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
