question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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