If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
