Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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