Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize