I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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