I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
