I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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