You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
