i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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