i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize