His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
