we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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