last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize