Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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