Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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