Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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