she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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