just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
