The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
