So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
