All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
