Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
