Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
