In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
