best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
