Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Randomize
