Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
