K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
