you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
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I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
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So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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