My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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