I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
