would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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