i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
