last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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